Navigating divorce and custody disputes is rarely easy, especially when children are involved. If you’re facing separation or already managing a contentious parenting arrangement, you’ve likely heard of divorce mediation and parenting coordination. These two processes can both help reduce conflict, but the processes themselves are quite different.

In this article, we’ll break down the key differences between custody mediation and parenting coordination, along with their advantages and drawbacks, to help you decide what may be best for your family.

What Is Mediation?

Mediation is a structured, confidential process where a neutral third-party mediator helps couples work through and resolve disputes. These disputes can not only address custody, but also property division, spousal support, and any other matters arising out of the marriage or post-divorce disputes.

Mediation is a confidential, voluntary process. The mediator does not represent either spouse and cannot impose decisions—instead, he/she facilitates discussion to help the parties reach mutually agreeable outcomes. Mediation is often most effective when both spouses are willing to communicate openly and are committed to resolving their issues outside of the courtroom.

Most mediations at Bean, Kinney & Korman are conducted with the parties only, without counsel present, typically in two-hour increments of time over a number of weeks with the parties and mediators together in one room (either in person or virtually), however it can also be conducted with attorneys participating.

What Is Parenting Coordination?

Parenting coordination is a process where a third party (usually a lawyer or mental health professional) helps high-conflict parents implement their custody order or agreement and resolve parenting disputes after they are divorced. Issues often relate to communication, disputes over extracurricular activities, disputes over special education needs, disputes over differences around mental health services and medication, as well as more benign topics like trading time for special occasions, makeup time, where transitions take place, and the like. Unlike mediation, which aims to reach a settlement, parenting coordination is designed to help high-conflict parents implement and comply with existing court orders more effectively. In some cases, the parties may agree to give a parenting coordinator limited decision-making authority to resolve day-to-day disputes.

Key Differences Between Mediation and Parenting Coordination

While both mediation and parenting coordination aim to reduce family conflict, they differ in key ways:

Mediation is an entirely confidential process whereas parenting coordination is not; the parent coordinator role is a quasi-judicial role (often appointed by the courts in DC and Maryland), and often subpoenaed to testify in Virginia, DC, and Maryland. Virginia courts cannot appoint a parenting coordinator (yet), but parties can agree to use one to resolve disputes.

The second major difference is that the mediator is a truly neutral role, whereas a parent coordinator – while not on anyone’s “side,” per se – is expected to be more directive. If someone is taking an unreasonable position or a position that is not supported by their custody agreement, a good parent coordinator would be very clear about that.

Finally, a mediator would never be in the position of making decisions whereas in some parenting coordination situations, the PC has binding decision making authority (either bestowed by the court or by the parties per an agreement that becomes a court order), typically on smaller decisions.

Understanding which process aligns with your family’s needs is key to avoiding unnecessary legal expenses and emotional stress.

Both divorce mediation and parenting coordination can offer significant benefits, but they’re designed for different stages of the separation and custody process. Understanding how each works—and when to use them—can save time, money, and emotional distress.

Whether you’re at the beginning of your divorce or trying to navigate an ongoing custody challenge, please contact Michelle Bieber at 703.284.7270 or mbieber@beankinney.com.

This article is for informational purposes only and does not contain or convey legal advice. Consult a lawyer. Any views or opinions expressed herein are those of the authors and are not necessarily the views of any client.